He turned his back and walked to his room. I turned around and walked to the front washroom and put my stuff on the counter.
I wasn’t ready to go back to my place, but I knew I had too. I wondered if Pablo was back in the city and was still checking for me. Even if he was back in town, that didn’t mean he was going to bother me. Especially knowing I’m with Bam now. He literally got what he wanted, he had the money, Ari and one up on Bam.
I turned on the water and started to undress as I stared at myself in the mirror. “This is all nice, but you got to slow down”, I cautioned my heart.
That’s the thing with broken hearts, it has cracks and space for anyone to fill it. I was hurting and I couldn’t fix it or make the pain go away. But Bam did, he filled it and when I was with him the pain disappeared, he made me forget. He made me feel like the past was just the past. And the future could be anything, plus I had to be here anyways so why not…
“What, love him?”, I asked myself out loud in disgust. “Because he’s a pimp, Royaal you always seem to forget that part”, I pointed at myself in the mirror.
At that moment, no love allowed by Rihanna came playing on the bathroom speaker.
“Pablo was great until he wasn’t”, I said sternly. As if I could convince myself to stop feeling how I was feeling.
I stepped into the tub and let the hot water pour down on my face. I was trying to trick my mind and fight my feelings. I knew I’d regret it later if I allowed myself to get sucked in too soon. Throw on the rose coloured glasses and let it get too deep, I had to pace myself.
“What’s your plan here?”, I questioned out loud, chuckling to myself. “You fuck him and love him and then what?…”
I couldn’t even answer my own question, I hadn’t thought that far. I just knew I was feeling like shit and having sex helped me feel better, as fucked up as that was. Having him desire me, helped me feel better about myself. Cause as of right now, I didn’t even desire to be alone in my own company. To be honest, I don’t know the last time I truly enjoyed being in my own company.
“And don’t forget his bitch, because you are definitely a sisterwife.”
I know he said they don’t know where he lives and honestly, he may not be lying about that. Cause when he was Mr. B, he was known for being an old school kind of pimp. Old school pimping is literally straight business, they don’t use pleasure and getting their girls dickmatized. They use fear and they beat them into submission. All the stories I use to hear about Mr.B, he didn’t play with his money or bitches.
I let out a huge sigh and started washing up my body. “But maybe he changed his game when he changed his name”, I thought.
I finished washing up and got out of the shower. I realized the type of questions I had were ones only Bam could answer. There was no point driving myself crazy with the unknown. I knew I had to ask Bam but I didn’t have enough courage to hear the answers yet. Sleeping with him probably wasn’t the best decision in hindsight, it made me soft, malleable.
I creamed up my skin, and put on the clothes I was wearing when I first got here. I settled for a messy curly bun and exited the bathroom. I walked out onto the cold tile, the sun was still coming up peaking a bit higher over the buildings now. Bam was walking out of his room into the living room.
“You look… refreshed”, he laughed as he strolled towards the kitchen.
“I definitely needed that shower”, I replied back walking towards the island.
“Did you want the food now? I’m going to have some before we go”, he said putting it into the microwave.
“Yes please.”
“I’m going to have my boy Bizzle come, the one you met at Hong Shings. He’s going to patrol the outside while we go up.”
“..I think I should go up by myself with Paul and call you if anything when he lets me in. I just think it’ll be easier to get him to do me a favor, if it’s just us. I don’t have that much stuff anyways.”
He passed my food over to me, “aight, I’ll be downstairs if you need me then.”
He started eating, the silence between us was deafening. I could tell he wasn’t 100% okay with my idea but he didn’t say anything. He just kept stuffing his mouth with food. So I didn’t say anything more about it either. I had to take a small step of independence and to be honest I didn’t want him to see the place. Not when he was living in this castle, and I couldn’t exactly remember the state of the crib when I left it. I was just going to grab my clothes, make up, weed shit and my safe to be honest. Everything else could go, it had the memories of Pablo attached to it.
He finished eating, went into his bedroom, got his macbook and placed it on the island. “Sign in and look for your landlord’s email for me”, he said as he walked back into his room.
I grabbed it and signed into my email and began searching. “Found it!”, I shouted to him.
“Aight just paste it into the notes for me please”, he shouted back.
I copied the email, opened the notes app and was about to paste it before something caught my eye. There were a few folder names but two were just emoji’s, one had a skull and lock and the other one was shared with the promise fingers; and the hands were light skin.
“You done eating yet?”, his question snapped me out of my thoughts and back into reality.
I quickly pasted the email into a new note and closed the macbook. “Yeah, I’m full”, I replied back, I had just lost my appetite. “Do you want me to wash up the containers or something?”
He laughed as he walked back out, “no you can just throw them away mama.”
He was wearing a chocolate coloured nike tech, I’ve never seen that colorway before but it was gorgeous on him. It complimented his dark skin tone perfectly. He had a men’s louie crossover bag in his hand too, that looked like it was filled with something.
I got up and threw our containers into the garbage. “I’m ready when you are, by the way.” I tried not to look at him too much, the sexual tension was thick and almost unbearable.
He grinned, as if he was reading my thoughts, “aight let’s go then.”
I walked towards the door and put on my slides. He slipped on his all black nike air max plus and we headed out the door.
He locked the door and trailed down the hallway to the elevator. “Ahh shit, we gotta grab you a new phone after we get your stuff. Did you want another iphone?” He asked as he pressed the button.
“Yeah, I do not know how to work samsung’s”, I said bashfully. I was trying to shake the anxious feeling in my stomach, the alerts sounding in my heart about what I just saw. I didn’t know what to think or feel to be honest. I didn’t know if I should ask him about it, considering I probably wasn’t suppose to see that. But why would he tell me to open notes if he had incriminating bullshit just right there, he’s definitely smarter than that; he’s no Pablo.
The elevator doors opened and we stepped in, he pressed P1. “Perfect, cause I’m an apple guy. Imessage, facetime, yeah all that”, he laughed.
We shot down to the underground parking and we walked towards the car. “And we’re going to take back this rental today too”, he said, sighing and unlocking the doors.
I knew it wasn’t the same car from Hong Shings, but I thought maybe it was one of his bitches car. A rental didn’t even cross my mind, I thought to myself as I opened the door and sat down into the passenger seat.
“It’s a nice car though, I can’t lie”, I said in a fake impressed voice.
Here I am creating the hells for me to burn in, I was thinking this nigga had me riding in one of his bitches cars and its really a rental. Maybe he wanted me to see the folders too.
“You’ll be whipping something clean, when we get you your license”, he said as he pulled out the spot and exited the garage.
The shock on my face made him laugh, “you gotta know how to drive princess. My bad… I mean you gotta get your license so you can legally drive.” He teased me.
I threw him an unimpressed look and smiled, “I will get my license… when I’m ready”.
“I don’t know what’s up with women and not caring to have one but you definitely will. I made all my girls get theirs and now they all have their own cars. They barely drive them though, but as a grown woman you guys have to be independent.” He said bluntly whilst looking out the windshield.
I kind of didn’t like that he so freely brought up his bitches, but that’s also better than him hiding and pretending he doesn’t have any I guess. A competitive fire arose within me, the fact that all his bitches had their licenses and a car. I wasn’t about to be the only dependent shorty out here.
We drove for about 15-20 mins till we were outside of my old place. A cold chill crept down my spine as I looked at the front lobby. A vision of me and Pablo walking out and laughing entered my mind and I went numb.
“You sure you want to go alone? You know you don’t have too”, he offered.
My eyes were locked onto the imaginary image, “I’m sure”, I exhaled.
Bam checked his phone, “aight well I’ll be right here if you call…wait how you gonna call me if you need me? You don’t have a phone yet.”
“Worst case scenario is he doesn’t let me in, which you’ll be able to see from over here. Pablo couldn’t be inside the crib, he’s not on the lease plus I’ll be with Paul. I’ll come back down if anything, I promise.” I said more confidently than I actually was, I put on a fake grin.
“Aight, i’ll be right here okay? And Biz is doing circles around to make sure everything looks good. You got this”, he grabbed my face in his hands and kissed my forehead.
I exhaled, got out of the car and walked over to my old condo. My palms were sweaty and my heart was beating so hard, I was convinced you could see it through my shirt. “You can do this”, I said to myself out loud, just before I opened the lobby doors.
I walked into the condo, the smell of familiarity hit me hard and I paused for a moment. Another tenant walked up the concierge desk and I had to wait behind them. I fiddled with my fingers and resisted the urge of looking back at Bam’s car. I could feel his eyes burning a hole in my back, it made all my hair stand at attention.
The tenant walked away and I walked up to the desk. “Hiiii Paul, how are you babes? Long time.”
“Royaal! It’s so nice to see you, I’m doing well. How are you, how was your trip?” He asked politely.
I awkwardly laughed, “it was horrible to be honest, my stuff got stolen.”
“Oh my God! I’m so sorry to hear that, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m doing a lot better, but my keys, purse, wallet, all that stuff is gone. So I can’t get back into my unit…and-“
“No problem Royaal, I can open the door for you. You’re going to have to contact your landlord and the board though to get a new key and fob.” He said opening his drawer and getting up to assist me.
“Oh my gosh, thank you so much Paul. I’ve just been all over the place to be honest”, I said with tears in my eyes. “I’m going to contact them today though”, I lied.
“I completely understand and I’m glad you’re safe, that’s all that matters. The other stuff can be replaced, you can’t. You should probably file a police report if you haven’t, then you won’t have to pay for the fob.” He said kindly as he led us towards the fob doors that lead to the elevators.
A single tear escaped and fell down my cheek, as I shook my head “I really appreciate this.” I was too choked up for proper words. It felt like I was finally catching a break.
He used his fob and we walked through the doors to the elevator. “Oh by the way, you had a male visitor come, but I turned him away as you requested.”
My entire body got rigid and cold, sweat dripped off my palms as we walked into the elevator.
Traffick’d 