“Where should I go… when you go see Biz?”, I questioned apprehensively.
“Did you want me to drop you off to your friends or family or something? They might be worried about you-…” He paused, looked over at me and read my vibe.
“Or you can just stay at the crib till I come back, I’ll tell Biz to bring Destiny over. That’s the white girl you met at Shings. You guys can get to know each other and you’ll have some company.” He proposed, trying to make me feel a little better I assumed.
Usually I’d be all against making new friends, but I really didn’t want to be alone. “Aight.”
I laid my head back against the leather seat. Bam was keeping me distracted, so I hadn’t really had time in my thoughts. It was a good thing though cause everytime it got silent, the flashbacks came back to haunt me. Silence was my worst enemy right now, my mind used it as an opportunity to play tricks on me. I needed to keep myself busy. I needed to be in company, I needed the space to be filled with something, anything.
“Ughh I can finally get out of these clothes”, I groaned. I was trying to keep it off my mind, but it didn’t help that these were the same clothes I got kidnapped in. I wanted to burn these shits and never ever see them again. It didn’t matter how many times they got washed, the memory was still on them.
He looked over at me briefly with an apologetic face, “I can imagine.”
He drove until we got back to his condo. I kept up small talk in the car to help keep me out of my head. He parked the car in his parking spot, grabbed my bags and we headed upstairs. When he opened his door, I was stunned again by his immaculate view. I just don’t know how he got use to it, it was truly breathtaking.
“I’m going to put your things in the spare room, that’ll be yours for now.” He insisted, carrying my bags and dragging my suitcase behind him.
For some reason, I felt a little sad that he didn’t put them in his bedroom. I know this was the right way, but there was a piece of me that felt a little bit of a sting or something.
“Aight cool, thank you”, I said trailing behind him.
He put all my stuff down, “I’ll let you get settled in and all.”
“Thank you” I expressed, grabbing his hand as he was walking out of the room.
He paused in his stride and looked back at me, “don’t worry bout it.” Then grinned and walked out of the room.
I put my purse and new phone down and immediately started opening my bags, looking for new clothes to throw on. It was so good seeing and having my stuff with me. The smell of them brought a feeling of comfort over my body. I couldn’t decide what to put on, if I should go for the sexy look or cute and cozy, or just throw on a baggy t-shirt. I was driving myself insane, “ughh, this is so dumb” I said to myself.
I settled with a tank top, no bra, nike track pants and called it a day. I unzipped my bag and my weed supplies nearly jumped at me. I’ve been so wrapped up in everything, I forgot to smoke. I wasn’t even sure if he smokes but I decided I was going to find out. I grabbed my weed, tray and walked out to the living room.
He was kicked up on the couch, on his phone. The diamonds on his pinky ring, twinkled as he swiped his screen. The tv was off and the sun was shining on his robust dark skin. The rays glimmered off his moisturized beard, making you just want to play in it. His waves and rolex glistened in the light. He was wearing a fitted white Nike shirt, exposing his muscular build. With gray Nike shorts, that didn’t leave much to the imagination. His starch white Nike socks wrapped around his thick calves. He was so fine, it was ridiculous.
I walked around the couch, “you smoke?” I asked with flirtatious eyes.
“I don’t really smoke too tough, I usually only smoke with Bizzle cause that nigga’s a chimney. He’s always smoking.”
I laughed, “say word, well you want to smoke a little ting with me?” I asked optimistic.
“Aight” he said, readjusting himself on the couch. “Are you a chimney too?”, he laughed.
“I wouldn’t say I’m a chimney… But I definitely like my after work smoke sessions.” I confessed as I sat down on the couch beside him, I started to roll us a spliff.
“Okay, noted” he commented as he turned on the tv.
“You don’t watch very much tv uh”, I said as I grinded up the weed.
“Nah, it’s more of a centerpiece than anything else”, he replied flipping through the netflix shows.
“You watched The Wire?” He asked as he put it on. He leaned forward, grabbed the lighter and lit his mahogany teakwood candles.
“Nah, I’m more into the girlie shows”, I lied. Pablo put me onto The Wire, well he would play it and I’d end up falling asleep while we cuddled.
“It’s one of my favorite shows, I can watch it over and over cause I learn something new every time.” He said leaning back, getting comfortable on the couch.
I finished rolling the spliff and sparked it, he glanced over at me as I inhaled. I inhaled as much as I could and tried to release everything else. It’s been a little while since I smoked, so I knew I was going to get high easily. I took a few more draws and then passed him the spliff and watched him smoke. His broad chest expanded under his Nike shirt. He exhaled and the smoke rolled off his thick juicy lips, I had to remind myself not to stare.
“That’s Avon Barksdale”, he pointed, “he’s the big dog of the organization.” He chuckled, “he’s the guy, when I was younger I wanted to be just like him. I thought me and Biz were like him and Stinger, you’ll see Stinger just now.”
He took one more puff and then passed me back the spliff. Our fingers touched as I grabbed it, I looked away coyly and locked my eyes to the tv.
“Oh he’s paranoid as hell, bout “he doesn’t want to use the payphone cause he used it yesterday”.” I said as I inhaled another big puff of smoke.
“Repetition can get you killed out here mama, better to be paranoid than dead”, he said in a serious voice.
“I mean, that’s true, I can’t argue with that”, I laughed.
“You never know who’s watching, who’s listening, who’s tapped, who’s not, that’s why it’s better to trust no one.”
I took another puff as I listened attentively to what he was saying.
“That’s why I have my guys for everything, you just never know.” He said staring at the tv but not really watching it, it was as if he was in another world, lost in his thoughts.
I took one more puff before I passed it back to him. He inhaled and stared at me as the smoke traveled through his body and out of his lips.
“I find you very interesting you know”, he shared.
“Really why?”I giggled awkwardly.
“You remind me of someone I know, back in Jamaica”, he said, ashing the spliff on the tray.
My palms got sweaty as my brain prepared to overthink, “well I hope that’s a good thing.” I suggested in a confused tone.
“It definitely isn’t a bad thing”, he chuckled.
“Crazy whistling ass Omar”, he was shaking his head at the tv. “This nigga’s sick in the head”, he inhaled some more.
“That’s why everyone’s running from him?” I asked as he passed back the spliff.
“Basically, he’ll kill anyone.”
I watched as he held up some kids in an alley with a shotgun. Bam kicked his feet up on the coffee table and spread his arm around me. I slid a bit closer, I fit perfectly underneath him. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of his shorts or the wild thoughts out of my mind. I knew what was under there and I wanted it, so I took another pull trying to calm myself down.
We watched the show until I could feel the energy shift. His finger subtly started drawing on my arm. “You have goosebumps, I make you nervous or something?” He titled his head and spoke into my ear.
“No” I said confidently, as I leaned forward to put the spliff down.
Before I knew it, his strong hands grabbed my jaw and we were kissing. His lips felt so fucking soft yet he kissed with force, with passion. His hand slid to the nape of my neck and he pulled me in closer.
I pulled back to catch my breath, then he lifted me and pulled me onto his lap. I was straddling him, his strong hands gripped all over my back. I could feel him pulsing underneath me. He could probably feel me throbbing. I kissed him like I’d never get to kiss again and he kissed me back the same way.
His hand tangled into my hair and he bent my head back, exposing my neck. He gently licked, sucked and kissed me all the way down to my hard nipples. He nibbled on them through my tank and I immediately took it off. He pushed my naked breast into his mouth and began teasing my nipple with his tongue.
I moaned in enjoyment, as happiness leaked out of me. He took his time and switched nipples, I grabbed his head trying to anchor myself back to reality.
“Fuck!”, I moaned out.
He grabbed on my ass as we ravished each other. His tongue played games with mine. I grabbed his face and licked his lips. His stare let me know what he was about to do to me.
He opened my track pants, shoved his hand inside and ran his fingers through my wetness. He twisted and played with me until I caved forward onto him. Then his phone rang, he continued kissing me until he couldn’t ignore it anymore. He pulled out his hand, put it into my mouth and grabbed his phone off the coffee table.
“What’s up?” he said, wiping his mouth. His voice was so melodic, it had so much base to it and a subtle raspiness.
I was trying to make out what the voice on the other side was saying. I couldn’t tell but it definitely was a man’s voice though. I stared at the ceiling as I awkwardly sat on his lap, titties out in the open.
He held up his wrist to look at his Rolex, “aight gimmie 15 minutes”. He said, tapping me to let him get up. I got off him and put back on my tank top, I could tell our little session was over.
“Aight just now” he said, putting the phone back onto the table. He stood up and stretched, “sorry babygirl, back to the real world. Biz will be here just now and he’s gonna bring Destiny.” He walked towards his bedroom and disappeared.
“Psftt.. Ohhkay” I mumbled and rolled my eyes. I decided to roll up another spliff, I might as well be high for this.
“As much as I’d enjoy playing with you all day, I got shit to handle mama” he yelled from his room. “Besides you need some girl time, I think you’ll like Destiny… She likes you, that’s for sure.” He laughed and then reappeared in some medium wash Purple designer jeans, a white Fendi t-shirt, his gold chains and brushing his precious waves.
“Of course” I remarked dramatically, grinning and nodding my head. I was about to lick the raw paper but felt his eyes staring at me.
“Don’t smoke yourself out cause you’re mad”, he pointed at me with his brush.
“Why would I be mad Bam?” I asked sarcastic as fuck, “you’re just my pimp.” I said coldly, looking him dead in his face then went back to rolling.
He paused, then continued walking over to the coffee table and grabbed his phone. “Aight Royaal”, he chuckled but we both knew nothing was funny.
“We can play that game or you can just check your emotions before one of us gets hurt.” He walked to the kitchen and poured himself a drink.
His phone made a sound, “they’re here might want to fix up yourself, you look a bit flustered.” He asserted bluntly, his words hit me and I was immediately emotionally caught off guard.
He finished his drink and walked back over to me, “I’ll be right back hot head, I gotta deal with my girls and some business. We can pick up where we left off when I come back if you want.” He grabbed my neck, tipped it back and kissed my forehead.
I was filled with fury and frustration, I felt like I was in an emotional prison. There was an obvious connection with us that we both felt. But the technicality was, he was still my pimp and their pimp. Because of that, it was starting to feel like how it did with Pablo, except Bam was straightforward about it. He even told me he was going to see his girls but that didn’t mean it didn’t feel like a fucking boulder hitting my chest. That didn’t mean, I didn’t feel what was happening between us. I just couldn’t say anything about it, because how we feel doesn’t fucking matter.
“Be nice! Oh yeah and Destiny knows how to act so don’t try any shit, behave okay.” His diamond pinky ring caressed the side of my face as he pulled his hand away.
There was a knock on the door and he walked over to answer it.
“What’s good playa?”, Biz dapped him.
“What’s good my nigga”, Bam replied back. “Hey Destiny”, he said in a girly funny voice.
“Hi Bam”, she replied back in her soft dainty voice.
They walked in and walked towards the living room, “Hey miss Royaal”, Biz called out. “He got you watching the wire uh?”, he shook his head and laughed.
“My nigga, why you acting like it ain’t the greatest show on earth?”, Bam interjected.
“Hey guys”, I replied back in a timid tone.
“What’d you do, why she look all sad and shit?”, Biz teased.
Bam gave Biz a look and Biz covered his mouth and laughed. Destiny came and sat on the couch by me, “say word you smoke.”
“I’m not sad by the way, I’m just high” I laughed, playing it off. “Yeah. Do you smoke?”, I asked her.
“Like a fucking chimney, this girl doesn’t stop smoking!”, Biz responded.
“Look who’s talking!” Bam laughed.
“You’re the one that got me like this”, Destiny complained.
“You see how they do me Royaal?”, Biz grinned.
“You ready to go fam?” Bam asked, shaking his head at his funny friend.
“Let’s goooo, i’m waiting on you” Biz teased, he had quite the animated personality. “Make sure y’all don’t green out now.”
“I’ll see you later”, Bam nodded to me. “Make sure y’all behave”, he shouted out as they walked towards the door.
“Pstt, whatever” laughed Destiny.
As soon as we heard them close the door and lock it, I sparked the spliff.
“Finally some privacy and peace”, I inhaled and crossed my legs on the couch.
“Ain’t no privacy in this bitch, Bam got cameras. But at least we got some peace”, she laughed, sat back and grabbed the remote.
“Wait! What! He has cameras in the house?” I was completely shocked. I mean I shouldn’t have been because that seems like something he’d do but still.
“Yeah girl, I don’t know where they are but he definitely has them. Bam’s even more paranoid than Bizzle and that n-..guys paranoid as fuck!”
I was too high and stunned to care that she almost said nigga. The thought that Bam and Bizzle were on road and still watching us, was freaking me the fuck out. I took some more draws and then passed it over to her. “This nigga watches too much hood shows forreal”, I laughed shaking my head.
“You’ll get use to him, he’s a good guy, he’s just paranoid as fuck”, she said inhaling as she searched for something to watch on netflix.
She bit her lip and turned towards me, I could tell something was on her mind.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Not to be rude or anything, I’m just surprised he let you stay up in his crib”, she disclosed and took another puff.
I didn’t know how to take that, “how come?”
“Cause Bam doesn’t play that, he keeps his girls and real life separate.. You use to be with that Pablo guy right? That shot at us at Hong shings?” She asked, passing me back the spliff.
“Unfortunately”, I muttered embarrassed as fuck.
“That dudes wild as fuck! What’s his problem? Biz won’t tell me shit obviously, but I overheard him saying Bam had to go get you from Windsor or something? Bam’s not into the drama like that, so I was super surprised.. I mean, if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s totally cool I get it.” She expressed to me, in her privileged tone.
Flashes of the basement, French, Pablo and Ari invaded my mind. A cool chill swept over my body and I immediately went into fight or flight mode unintentionally. Her questions set something off, that rubbed me the wrong way. I didn’t know if she was trying to connect over my traumas and shit or if this was a test to see how loose my lips were. And she’d go running back and let them know, I told her everything. My brain was firing off alerts like crazy and I decided to play it smart this time.
“Bam is that nigga’s problem, jealously is a crazy thing but honestly I don’t even want to get into that waste yute right now. He’s a waste of time, trust” I said, inhaling the smoke. I’ll never trust another bitch again as far as I can throw her.
“Girllll, I get it, these guys get so jealous of each other. And it’s so crazy, cause you’d think the bitches would be more jealous cause yall got sister wives and shit to deal with. Men are so funny and stupid, I swear.”
I thought to myself for a second, is this bitch trying to be shady? What does she mean “since yall got sister wives?” “I’m just surprised he let you stay up in his crib..”” I decided to take the nosy approach like her.
“What do you mean, since yall got sister wives? You don’t have any?”
“You know, like how you, Paris, Miami and China all work for Bam? You guys are all sister wives and no girl, I couldn’t handle that to be honest. Biz couldn’t even handle that, especially if he had a chick like Paris. She obviously doesn’t know you’re staying with him and you should keep it that way if you want peace.” She laughed, completely ignorant to the fact she just created drama.
Traffick’d 